My husband didn't get the job at Ameritrade. And I'm sad for him. I'm sad for multiple reasons but mainly cuz I wanted so bad for him to have a job that he really loves, like me. I want him to be happy, I want him to feel better about himself. I want to make it better and I cant. I feel helpless and useless. I cant fix it. I cant fix our financial issues without him. I just wanted so bad for him to have something of his own and I can't do that for him. I feel like I'm failing as a wife.
 
Why can't anything go right for us? We are past the first year of marriage and we should be headed towards the upside of things. Why are we still in the toilet? All this crap is really bad for my health and I cant stand to be stuck working my butt off and not getting to see the kids 2 days a week just cuz Kevin can't get a job. I'm tired, I hurt, and its not fair.

Why do I have to do everything for the family its my husbnads responsibility but hes not being given a chance. I don't blame him in the slightest. But that doesn't mean that I can handle this much pressure to handle it all.

I was able to get a friend a job up here and now another friend had an interview and they want to hire him, but I can't get my husbnad a job. How useless am I?
I know things aren't easy, but they aren't supposed to be this hard. I'm not supposed to be the one busting my tail this hard.
I know that you have been sending occasional career builder thingys too me but its' not ur job either, but he needs help looking he doesn't know where to look or even how to look.

There is also another job opportunity that my friend has emailed up about. Its a courier position thats the only problem, the nissan is out of commission. The only option I have thot of is going up to DriveTime and seeing if we cant get financing on a trade in or do the KIA thing. I know those places eat u alive but we are out of options. If he's to a drivable car then we are going to have to deal with it.

I literally feel out of hope and faith and belief that things are ever going to get better. I know that is not a good thing, but all these bad/hard things keep happening to throw us back 10 years and we can't make anymore headway than about a half an inch. I'm not a pessimistic person but my hopes are being shattered by things falling apart the way they are.

We don't have anywhere else to go if I stop working but it's not like I can give birth and triage tickets at the same time. Please don't think that I am upset with my husband in any way I'm not. I'm just frustrated and for once in a long time I don't have a plan or a clue how we are going to make it. And that scares the pee out of me. I don't like not having a plan or even a thot of how things can be solved, but every plan I've come up with has fallen thru and I no longer have faith in myself to be a good planner or mommy or wife. I am beginning to question myself again, and things were not good when I do that.

Honestly I need all the support I can get. This is really hard for me to deal with cuz I want so badly for things to improve and I feel helpless and like I can do nothing right to take care of my family or myself.

If there is anyone who knows of anywhere that is hiring please let me know as soon as possible. I cannot just sit idley by and watch my world spiral out of control into a black hole. I will be dipped in a pickle before I completely give up all hope that something can be done, but I cannot do it alone.